(a work in progress)
I've found a few entertaining and
effective ways to deal with some of life's irritating moments.
TELEMARKETERS
PROBLEM: Telemarketers blow. It's rude for them to interrupt my day trying to sell something I don't want. So, I think it's fair to be rude back to them. The worst thing you can do to a telemarketer, whether human or machine, is to waste their time and insult them, if human.
SOLUTION: Answer the phone and get the machine or human started on the sales pitch. Then, quietly set the phone down. Don't hang up. Eventually, they realize no one is here and hang up. That wastes their time. Time is money.
POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS
PROBLEM: People love to give their opinions on war, politics, and other international affairs. I'd rather talk about something else, like music, tractors, or philosophy.
SOLUTION: Folks will stop asking you to discuss these subjects if you adopt the "nuke 'em" strategy. Anytime someone starts talking politics, simply reply with "nuke 'em." For instance, if Joe brings up an event in Iraq, reply with "Nuke 'em." If he starts talking about a crisis in South America -- "nuke 'em." If Canada has an extremist cell planning to take over the world, "nuke 'em." If they ask about killing babies reply "especially the babies." Soon, folks will stop talking politics with you.
EXERCISE
PROBLEM: It's boring. Walking or running around in circles is boring as heck. So is lifting weights and almost all exercise. You take a barbell or DUMBell and lift it, lower it, lift it, lower it, etc. Bouncing balls around is about the same. It's not only a lot of work. It also doesn't look like it does any good! It seems like a waste of time.
SOLUTION: Multitask! Instead of walking around a track, grab a weedeater and walk around town trimming the streets. You get immediate results - a nicer place to walk - with the same long term results. If anyone looks at you like you're stupid, nuke em! Instead of lifting weights, construct a block building a little each day. You get stronger muscles plus immediate reward of seeing a useful structure you built with your own hands. Instead of biking in circles, bike to work! It also helps to do tasks the "dumb" way. For instance, if you need to move a dozen boxes of books to another room, you could use a dolly and get the job done with little effort the smart way. Or, you could move one box at a time and spend a lot more energy doing it the "dumb" way. Instead of circling the Wal-Mart parking lot trying to find the best parking spot, park at the far edge and walk. Take the stairs!
TELEMARKETERS
PROBLEM: Telemarketers blow. It's rude for them to interrupt my day trying to sell something I don't want. So, I think it's fair to be rude back to them. The worst thing you can do to a telemarketer, whether human or machine, is to waste their time and insult them, if human.
SOLUTION: Answer the phone and get the machine or human started on the sales pitch. Then, quietly set the phone down. Don't hang up. Eventually, they realize no one is here and hang up. That wastes their time. Time is money.
POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS
PROBLEM: People love to give their opinions on war, politics, and other international affairs. I'd rather talk about something else, like music, tractors, or philosophy.
SOLUTION: Folks will stop asking you to discuss these subjects if you adopt the "nuke 'em" strategy. Anytime someone starts talking politics, simply reply with "nuke 'em." For instance, if Joe brings up an event in Iraq, reply with "Nuke 'em." If he starts talking about a crisis in South America -- "nuke 'em." If Canada has an extremist cell planning to take over the world, "nuke 'em." If they ask about killing babies reply "especially the babies." Soon, folks will stop talking politics with you.
EXERCISE
PROBLEM: It's boring. Walking or running around in circles is boring as heck. So is lifting weights and almost all exercise. You take a barbell or DUMBell and lift it, lower it, lift it, lower it, etc. Bouncing balls around is about the same. It's not only a lot of work. It also doesn't look like it does any good! It seems like a waste of time.
SOLUTION: Multitask! Instead of walking around a track, grab a weedeater and walk around town trimming the streets. You get immediate results - a nicer place to walk - with the same long term results. If anyone looks at you like you're stupid, nuke em! Instead of lifting weights, construct a block building a little each day. You get stronger muscles plus immediate reward of seeing a useful structure you built with your own hands. Instead of biking in circles, bike to work! It also helps to do tasks the "dumb" way. For instance, if you need to move a dozen boxes of books to another room, you could use a dolly and get the job done with little effort the smart way. Or, you could move one box at a time and spend a lot more energy doing it the "dumb" way. Instead of circling the Wal-Mart parking lot trying to find the best parking spot, park at the far edge and walk. Take the stairs!
